Desires

This morning I have been waken up shaken. What is love, it is an intense feeling of deep affection. You will learn throughout life that love is a conditional word and feeling. You may tell me I unconditionally love my girlfriend or boyfriend, husband or wife, but I am sure there are moments where that love is tested. How many times have I tested my relationship with God and how many times has his unconditional love accepted me back. I feel right now so broken and undeserving of anything because I have lost a lot in the past couple of months but God has been there with every lose that I have had. I am shaken this morning being waken up and God or whatever it was making me come to a realization of the loses I have had in my life over these past couple of months and years. God is asking and has continued to ask me where are your desires at.

I feel as if the Psalmist said it best “One thing have I desired of the Lord, that will I seek after; that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life”. God has been asking me through this season of my life “Caleb, what are you desiring?” “Are you storing your treasures up down here on this earth or are you storing them in my kingdom?” I am convicted because number one I have failed a lot the past couple of months but mainly because the reasons behind those failures is because my desires were not where they needed to be. I will be transparent to the world in hopes that this will reach someone. Today I woke up feeling all alone, wanting and missing my family and when I think about the lose of my grandfather and my other grandfather just one day ago having a heart attack and me not being able to be there almost brings me on the verge of tears. You will find also and realize the importance of your family when you are away from them so long. There is also other emptiness right now in my life. When I was awakened this morning, feeling so empty, God immediately asked, are you desiring me? I keep telling God yes, yes, yes and He keeps telling me let me fill that void. I have to desire God or everything else will never happen the way it should happen. God has given me a choice to live for Him or not. If I am going to live for Him then I need to walk by faith and not by sight because He is a God of faith. Jesus is able to fill every void you are having but we all have to learn to trust Him.

The Pharisees in the bible were all about what they did. They looked the part, acted the part, (bring it up to times) played the best music, sang the best songs, preached the best sermons, wore the best clothes, and had the status in the “church” world. They though did not have their priorities right with God. Matthew 7, “Many will say to me in that day, Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in thy name? and in thy name have cast out devils? And in thy name done many wonderful works? And then will I profess unto them, I never knew you: depart from me, ye that work iniquity.” The disciples after the Holy Ghost was poured out went and spread the gospel. Their one desire was Jesus Christ, it was not a status in their organization or church, it was not to be the best drummer, keyboardist, preacher, or worship leader, but it was God. I am not telling whoever reads this to give up and not be the best at their ministry but I am just wanting you to ask yourself a question “where are your desires really lying”? If you are more concerned about “earthly” acceptance in your ministry or in life be careful because that is who Jesus was talking to when He said depart from me.

God Bless