Investments

A thought came across me tonight and it stuck with me, I posted a facebook status about it and then tried to go to bed. That failed! Number one, I hate when something gets in your head and you can not get it out of your head. For me this is how I get it out. Here is the status I put up, "What you invest your time in, is where you will see growth in the different areas of your life. If you do not invest, you will not see growth, so do not expect the benefits of growth when the investment is not there. This goes with every aspect of life, ministry, relationships, talents, and habits. I need to be able to prioritize my life so that I will be able to get the maximum growth." Yes I did accidentally put habitats instead of habits, but that is only because I can not spell and sometimes I am to A.D.D to look at the word I am correcting when spell check gives me options.

Moving forward, an investment is defined as "an act of devoting time, effort, or energy to a particular undertaking with the expectation of a worthwhile result". This is more of something practical and not so much spiritual even though you have to be able to incorporate this into your walk with God. When you think of the word investment, you probably think of money, and money is a good grounds of relating investing because it is something that is a essential part of life and we all know that we need it. (I need to insert a "lol" or "haha" here but its not very professional in a writing so I will not do it) When it comes down to it, what we invest in, in our lives is what will makes us grow. Example one, and everyone can relate to this because everyone has been through this, when you are in a relationship, not necessarily boyfriend/girlfriend but just a friendship and it is one sided, meaning you are the one doing the investing and the other person is not, then it will do nothing but drain you later on. Yes, it will help you grow and lessons will be learned, but when you are always giving and the other side is receiving and never giving, then your investment will go no where. Granted do not misread me investing in people is a totally different matter, but I am talking about a friendship, which the investment goes two ways. This is just an example, not my main point.

When I look at my life and realize all the time I have wasted, when I could of been investing in myself to make myself better in order to be a difference in peoples lives, it makes me sick. Time flies by so quickly and we do not realize how quickly it goes by. So I asked myself the question tonight, is the way I am investing my time, energy, and effort worth the time, energy, and effort that I am trying to put into it? It is a tough and a reality check question, and it is hard to lie to yourself when you are asking it. I really had to dig deep down and go though everything that is going on in my life right now in order to find out the answer for myself. The honest answer is there are things in my life that are pointless in investing in and will get me nowhere, but there are more things than the pointless areas, that are worth investing in. I just need to realize them and cut back on the time that I am trying to invest in them.

Last thing, right beside the word investment should be the word risk. Every time you invest in something weather it be trying to discover a new talent, relationship, people, or just time and effort into something that you are passionate about, there is a potential for let down, loss, and disappointment. Do not let that stop you, there is a point and I have reached that point sometimes where you let go (Example 2, I can spend all day and night trying to sing but unless God blesses me with a voice, it aint gonna happen), but do not stop trying and exploring new things.

IT MAY BE REAL BUT IT AINT RIGHT

The first thing I need to say and get out there is a couple of thank you’s. I have never expressed this and I need to more often because when I look back over my teenage years and the crazy things that I have been exposed to in my life (and that is a lot) I have to thank God for His mercy on my life and for truth. If you do not realize now you need to, God’s mercy and His loving kindness is unbelievable. Does not give me or excuse the sins I have committed. I feel as if I sometimes have literally have taken a knife and stabbed God in the back with my rebellion and selfish ways, but yet God still has reached his hand out and forgave me. My next thanks goes to my parents for being a Godly examples to me and living a Jesus centered life Also, for living an example of a life that I need to live. I want to tell you Mom and Dad that I want to be the Father to my kids that yall have been to me. My last thanks goes to my Pastor and Youth Pastor, Pastor Buddy Thompson, and Bro. Akil Thompson. If it had not been for you all, I would not be in church and serving God today. The time spent and invested in me, even though you all probably wanted to take me by the neck sometimes and strangle me because of some of my actions. You have always supported my dreams and never once have told me that I could not do what my dreams wanted me to do. That means the world to me! With all this said, something has been convicting me and has been on my heart for a week now and need to express it to myself and hopefully to whoever reads this.

Conviction is a word that we never like feeling and maybe sometimes we forget about it as Christians. I have found myself in past that I act on my feelings and that is not a bad thing a lot of times. We would call that being real. When I was still in the youth group at Life Church, My Youth Pastor Bro. Akil used to tell me all the time, “I am just being real with you”, when he was trying to get something in my head. It worked sometimes and sometimes I knew everything being the smart, intelligent, all knowing teen I was. I heard a preacher say this and this is the point I am telling myself right now, “We think sometimes keeping it real is acting on everything that comes into our mind”. He goes on to say, “It may be REAL but that doesn’t mean its RIGHT”.

Right then it God convicted me. We sometimes do that, and I feel as if we get immune sin because if that is how we feel when do it and it satisfies the flesh. Paul says in Romans 13, “Make no room for the flesh, because all the flesh wants to do is please its lustful nature”. That’s why in 1 Corinthians 9 Paul says, “My flesh is weak and I want to give into it sometimes but I have to BRING IT INTO SUBJECTION”. That word subjection means domination; we have to dominate our flesh. Out there to everyone now, if my flesh has gotten the best of me, forgive me. I am not trying to be a hypocrite and telling this to you, like I said this is for me as much is it is for whoever reads this. We cannot act on everything that our flesh wants us to have. God will not always convict us. When the adulteress woman was about to be stoned and Jesus said, “he who is without sin cast the first stone”, the scripture says their own conscience convicted them. Ladies and Gentlemen, it is our job sometimes to ask ourselves is what I am doing like Christ? If it is we let it in, and if it is not like Him, WE CANNOT LET IT IN. I pray God forgive me because of my weak flesh.

I know we are all flesh and we mess up from day to day, but I know that I have to do better job in controlling my unruly and unpredictable flesh. It really funny but scary sometimes of how unpredictable a person is in the moment can be, and what they are capable of doing. It is kind of like the woman picking a car up when it rolled over her son. Anyways back on track, I have to tell myself, I have to strive to be holy, because the God we serve is a holy God, and He is coming back one day for a holy bride. Other than that I know that if I control my flesh better. In doing this my life will be fill with more to look forward to and less regret looking back on.

Choices

Choice, an act of selecting or making a decision when faced with two or more possibilities. This word in this past semester has stuck out to me while I have been at Gateway. Granted, we make choices everyday, getting out of bed, what to eat, what clothes to wear, and so on. These things are small and not really all that significant, and in the end they make up who we are overall, but the choices that I am talking about can affect your life.

God gave us the choice since He made Adam. Genesis 2:16-17 And the Lord God commanded the man, saying "Of every tree of the garden you may freely eat; but of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil you shall not eat, for in the day that you eat of it you shall surely die." Here God gave man a choice weather or not to obey Him. He tells Adam and Eve that they can do what they want, but according to what they do will affect their life. In Deuteronomy 11 God gives the Israelites another choice starting in verse 26, Behold, I set before you today a blessing and a cures: the blessing, if you obey the commandments of the Lord your God which I command you today; and the curse, if you do not obey the commandments of the Lord your God, but turn aside from the way which I command you today to go after other gods which you have not known. This is a choice of weather or not we want to serve our flesh or God.

There will be purpose to everything that we do. Weather the decision is a good one or bad one, I feel as if we will learn from the decisions we make, and hopefully it will make us a better person in the end. My ultimate goal in life is to make it to heaven. This may sound selfish and forgive me if it sounds that way, but I am not going to hell for anyone. I do not care if it is the love of my life or a million people that will go to heaven in my place. The thing that is getting at me is not will my choices affect salvation, it is more of the long term choices I make that will affect who I am, my reputation, and how I will end up as a person. Also, a big question that I have in general, not just pertaining to me, but when do my choices become so self centered that I do not care about other people who are trying to help me and guide me?

One of my biggest worries is that I will make mistakes that will drastically change my life. In my personal prayer time, I ask God to lead and guide me, to close the doors He wants closed, and to open the ones He wants open. I have had to learn to put complete trust in God and not force his hand. Not saying that I have not gone around to doors to see if they are unlocked so that I can open them. I feel as if sometimes people just wait for God to open a door, in the mean time they just sit and wait. I do not like that mindset, because I think we need to work hard and try to find the door that God wants us to go though if He has not opened a clear door. With that being said when I put people in my life that I choose put my confidence in, I try to listen. I the thing that irks me the most is when someone comes to me in confidence and asks for my advice and the next day does the exact opposite of what I suggest to them. I do not have all the answers, I am only 20 years old, but if I choose to put confidence in someone, that means to some extent I trust them. In trusting them, I need to take into consideration and prayer to what advice they give me, not making quick decisions.

Choices are made everyday weather they are life changing or just simple routine. This is obvious and is not a revelation at all, but the choices we make map the road for our life weather they seem insignificant or taking a risk that will instantly be change everything about a person. Sometimes our choices can be undone and sometimes they can not. This is why everyday we, I, must put God first in our lives, listen to those who we have put our trust in, and again, trust God.